Our precious Natalie was born on Aug 31st 2008...born to my oldest son Jason. She was dark haired and bright eyed. He cherished her from the beginning. The circumstances of her birth and life were not the best yet we were so happy to have her in our family. She did struggle from her birth with the inability to keep her formula down and it caused  many problems for her.She would projectile vomit almost every feeding.  She never seemed to be relaxed ,always stiff and always crying in discomfort....we all watched helplessly as the circumstances were such that none of us could take her to doctor.  Jason and the mother were not married and Jason was not "legally" the father. Natalie was never seen by a physician after her birth. Not once...she never received vaccinations or well baby check ups. We all, (Jason's family)  cared for her and loved her as we could. Jason was in her life in the beginning and the end.....she lived a short 5 1/2 months and he did the best he could to be there....during the last month of her life he was the main caregiver for her as well as his family. She was so sick by then and we took turns trying to help. She suffered with stomach issues,pain, and lack of sleep. She did not like to be cuddled, I believe because she was hurting. Jason and the mother had an off and on relationship and it took its toll on our ability to care for Natalie. He would bring her by almost daily in those last weeks,just so he could know she was being watched and he could get some sleep. He was also looking for work and lived with us for a few weeks,at the time also having Natalie most days while the mother worked, It was mixed blessing because at the time Jason's sister,whom he lived with was due to have a baby and when she did ,it turns out she had colic and so Jason was forced to move out and so our time with Natalie greatly decreased, it was hard on all of us. Contact with the mother was off and on, but we managed between the 4 of us to keep in contact and have Natalie as much as we could. We all remained alarmed at the suffering Natalie went through and Jason seemed helpless to do anything since the mother did not seem to listen to our advice .. A completely horrid situation for all of us. 
Natalie was living with Jason and the mother for the last 2 weeks of her life. She was just starting to roll over and at 5 months old it seemed she was progressing slowly compared to other babies that age. Her head size was always a concern for us,as it seemed to enlarge as she grew. Nothing anyone could pinpoint or name but it was of great concern as she seemed to always hold her head to one side and was stiff in her movements. In hindsight we would all grab her up and take her to emergency room and make them help....Hindsight is 20/20 they say. I hope anyone reading this will be helped by that fact and act no matter how uncomfortable it will be for those around you. 
 About 3 days before we lost Natalie ,she had rolled off a bed in the travel trailer in which they were living behind a great  aunts home, she hit her head on a portable heater on the floor before landing on the floor,she was bruised but to those there ,seemed to be okay . Jason's sister was asked to babysit her the following night and she was extremely alarmed at how big Natalie's head had become and admonished them to take her in. Natalie was not the same after that and when Jason and the mother visited us on the following Tues,she had not been seen and both Jason and the mother seemed to think she was actually feeling better because she was not nearly as fussy. We all held her and suggested the mother take her to the hospital as Natalie seemed limp and too quiet.No bruises were abvious to us at the time,we just knew something was gravely wrong with her as she was never what you would consider a "happy" baby and she was not crying or cooing ,she would just lay there,her eyes seemed clear when I looked into them,no gazing and she looked right at me,but there was not much of a response. We tried to enjoy the visit as it was and after they left we all considered forcing the issue of taking her in,we did not to our regret. Later that very afternoon we got the call. Natalie had been taken to the emergency room, an ambulance had been called. My first thought in hearing this was FINALLY ,we will find out why she has been so sick ! Jason was home with her , both sleeping and he was awakened by her cries and when he got to her ,she had vomited and was in convulsions. He grabbed her up and ran into the house on the property and he and the great aunt did everything they could to bring her back,mouth to mouth,and prayer.... The ambulance and police arrived together and Natalie was wisked off to the hospital. Jason was put into the squad car,told he could go see her when they figured out what was going on. They lied. He never got to see or hold her again. By the time we all arrived at the hospital Jason was in jail,being held on charges of shaking his precious Natalie... so the horrid story begins......

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